It has been a long time since I've blogged. I spent 6 months working nights and was such a zombie during that time that I just did not have any energy for blogging. On top of that, we moved, my kids have started new schools, and I have discovered that I have hypothyroidism - which, I think, also helps explain my overwhelming lassitude.

The move is done, though the house is still a mess. The kids have been in their new schools for a few weeks and seem to like them. I have started seeing an endocrinologist. Things are finally beginning to return to normal... whatever that may be.

"So, how's the nursing going?," you say?

Thanks for asking. I think it is going well enough. I have now been a nurse for a year and a half and can no longer be considered a Transitional Nurse. If one considers Patricia Benner's 5 Levels of Nursing Skill Acquisition and Critical Judgement (1. Novice (Transitional), 2. Advanced Beginner, 3. Competent, 4. Proficient, and 5. Expert), I believe I am firmly ensconced in the foggy realm between Advanced Beginner and Competent. I don't know if my Charge Nurse and Unit Director would agree, but I doubt they read my blog.

I am now comfortable handling most situations on my own, but am also wise enough to recognize when I need help, and less embarrassed about asking for help. I make fewer mistakes than I made in the beginning. The new flock of Transitional Nurses now comes to me for advice.

Don't get me wrong... I still have along way to go, but I have made leaps, strides, and bounds since my last entry.

"So, what got you blogging again, Sybil?"

Again, thanks for asking!

Two events. First, I had begun to feel silly about blogging since I did not have any followers. It seemed narcissistic to assume that anything I wrote would be interesting to anyone. Especially since I don't consider myself a writer. But I recently discovered that someone I know, and of whom I think highly, also blogs. This person is, in fact, a writer. This person does not seem to care what others think, but seems to write cathartically. For this person, writing heals. I am a healer and so, in his own way, is my friend. For some reason, this helped make the conceit of the exercise less somehow.

Meandering Moment: I recently discovered that I do have one follower. Nigel - I don't know who you are, but thanks. Even if you never read my blog again, thanks for following me, if only for a while. I needed you!

The second event was something that another nurse I know posted on FaceBook. She was complaining about the number of patients we have that come in without medical insurance, who subsist on welfare and food stamps, their hospital bill being footed by Medicaid. They often have multiple offspring by multiple partners, having never been married to any of them, but have the latest expensive phone equipped with Internet access, an iPad, a new laptop, and drive a BMW or Mercedes. Many of nurses with whom this person is friends on FaceBook sounded off about how much we as nurses, and tax payers, find this offensive. This lit my candle, my desire to blog, once again. As an insider in the medical world I believe I do have something to say about the American medical system, its overwhelming flaws, and its hidden dangers. That is why I started this blog in the first place. To tell anyone who might be interested what I know.

So, I'm back. My first order of business is to tell you that one of the reasons the American medical system is perpetually financially destitute is that it is filled with people, like the patient describe in the paragraph above, who scam the system. How can someone afford a $600 phone that costs $60-$80 per month to run, a $500 iPad, and a $1,500 laptop, not to mention the high end cars, but have the gall to tell the case manager they can't afford their prescriptions, they can't afford medical insurance, and so on, and so on, and so on. Yet these people make up about 1/3 of our patient population.

I know what you're thinking: "Wow, Sybil is being cynical and judgmental. She's never been in that patient's shoes! Maybe he was laid off and has run out of COBRA! How horrible for him! She doesn't know him from Paul!" Or something like that, right?

Yes and no. I may not know this particular individual's entire life story, but I hear the same story over and over again, week after week. I hear the same exact story told by so many different people that it is very hard not to marry them all together to create one character to represent the lot. And, I don't particularly like that character. He says he can't find a job, but when you suggest he look for something in the hospital, maybe in food services, house keeping, or as a patient care technician, he has a 1,000 reasons why he could not possibly work in any of those positions. He (or she) has gout, has chronic eczema, has no one to baby sit his 5 kids, is starting his own movie production company, is a poet who is going to become the next great rapper, can't work because the government will just garnish his wages and give the money to his ex-girlfriend to pay his back child support, etc., etc., etc. You get the picture.

"So what!," you say. "It's no skin off your nose! It doesn't affect you, your stability, or how you do your job!"

But it does affect me and it affects you, too. You see, if you are an American and you pay taxes, then you are paying this person's hospital bill. And I am paying this person's hospital bill. And my friend, the writer, is paying this person's hospital bill, though he's knows it not!

Nurses, in general, believe that everyone has a right to medical care. But our current system is set up so that everyone who pays taxes pays for those who won't or can't work. If someone has a legitimate reason that they are unable to work, due to chronic debilitation of some sort, then they have my complete, whole hearted sympathy. It's those who can but won't work, but who are content to live off the backs of others like me that pluck my hypersensitive nerves.

"So, quit your complaining and do something about it! Find a way to fix the obviously broken system!," you say! "Don't just whine about it - I hate whiners! Find a solution!"

I hear you, I really do, but the answer, I fear, lies in socialism. A system in which everyone, regardless of whether an individual works or not, has the same medical coverage. I am not a fan of socialism. I believe in the America in which, if you work hard and put in the time, you can become successful. In that America, if you are not willing to work hard, then you do not reap any benefits and you have no one to blame but yourself. In socialism, you can count on being taken care of by the government and I believe that just makes people lazy. What made America so powerful over the last century was the infinite energy and innovation of the people who believed that hard work would pay off. In the last 20 years or so, as the government has become bigger, we have become less somehow. Less innovative, less creative, less driven. Lazy. Stupid. Less.

This isn't who I am. It isn't how I am raising my children. And it isn't the country in which I grew up. So, I guess I am against Socialism, in general, and I guess that makes me a Republican since our Democrats no longer seem to be Democrats, but Socialists in disguise, though part of me shudders when I type that word: Republican. {shudder} See!

I don't know how to fix the problem. I am torn between my desire to heal everyone who needs to be healed and my contempt for those who knowingly work the system.

All I can think of to say is, "Get a job! A real job! Pay your bills, child support and keep your ____ in your pants!"

And that would get me fired.

But I am open to ideas. In fact, I would welcome your perspective and insight. This problem is too big for me and my feeble mind to fix alone. But, if I join my feeble mind with your feeble mind, perhaps we can develop some solution. I look forward to it!

Sorry I've been gone so long. I hope to be more of a regular around here in the future.

Regards,
Lady Sybil